If we were producing a film about the young Saul of Tarsus, we would be looking at casting someone good at villainous roles. From a Christian perspective he was really evil, although the Jewish authorities thought that he was the best thing since their equivalent of sliced bread. To start with, he was a Pharisee, one of the pedantic religious group who wanted everyone to obey all the old laws and then invented new ones to make life even more difficult (Paul's letter to the Philippians, chapter 3, verse 5). Then he wasn't just a recruit to the party, but had been born into it (Acts chapter 23, verse 6). Moreover, he'd been trained by one of the top rabbis in the country (Acts 22:3). He had a bright future ahead of him indeed.
Saul had been there when the Jews had stoned Stephen to death - the first martyrdom of the fledgling church. He hadn't got his hands dirty: that was beneath him. No, he had guarded the cloaks of those who wanted a bit more freedom of movement in their arms for the stone throwing, and just stood their and watched (Acts 7:58). Unfortunately for the Jewish leaders, the death of Stephen led to a persecution of the church which caused the Christians to scatter, taking the gospel message with them. Now the spread of the Church was getting out of control (Acts 8:1). So Saul asked the Jewish leaders in Jerusalem for authority to go to Damascus and work with the synagogues in the region to hunt down and arrest any Christians found there (Acts 9:1,2). They were to be thrown into jail in Jerusalem - and this was before any concept of prison reform - followed, presumably, by at least harsh questioning and threats, if not torture and perhaps death.
Saul was not a good man. He was useful to the authorities because he was providing a sort of secret police and rendition service. He had no thought for the people he was arresting, other than that they were undermining his cherished religious beliefs - and that needed to be stamped out by whatever means necessary. Later in life, when he was known as Paul, he referred to himself as the worst of sinners (Paul's 1st letter to Timothy, chapter 1, verse 15). We might think, "Come on Paul, you're one of the most famous and most dedicated followers of Jesus that ever was. Why are you putting yourself down like that?" Yet actually at this point he was indeed one of the worst of the worst: cold, calculating, full of hatred and deliberately fuelling a persecution.
Jesus isn't concerned about our past - that can never hold us back because he's dealt with it on the cross - he's more interested in developing our future.
Then one day, when Saul was on the road to Damascus to carry out his task, Jesus turned up in a blaze of light and spoke to him (Acts 9:3-7). Crazy, or what? Surely Jesus should be turning up to support and comfort those being persecuted, not this evil enemy of the Church. But Jesus knew that something had been triggered inside Saul, perhaps at Stephen's murder, which made him realize that he was who the Church said he was - the Son of God. All this anger being vented on the Church was out of frustration that he was losing his beloved Judaism, with all its beautiful rules and ceremonies. Jesus asked him, "Saul, why are you persecuting me? Why are you resisting what I'm doing in you?" Saul rather lamely asked who this was that was speaking out of the dazzlingly bright thin air, so Jesus stated clearly who he was. He wasn't up for theological debate though: Jesus was saying what was going to happen from then on. Saul was given instructions and set about following them.
He ended up blind (Acts 9:8,9), perhaps to teach him vulnerability, or perhaps to make it difficult for him to change his mind. So he had to be visited by one of his Christian enemies, of all people, to heal him (Acts 9:10-19). Then he gave his life fully to Jesus and was baptized into the Christian faith that he had been trying to destroy. After this he went away to Arabia for a while (Paul's letter to the Galatians, chapter 1, verse 17), to be alone with God, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Even if we're devout Christians it's easy to resist God at times. He has a habit of wanting us to surrender bits of our lives to him that are rather personal to us. Saul seems to have pretty much surrendered everything early on after meeting Jesus on the road, although we learn from his writings that even he had struggles in this area (Paul's letter to the Romans, chapter 7). He knew though that Jesus, when on the cross, had overcome our past and set us free to follow him, unencumbered by any guilt or shame (Romans 8:1,2). The more we grasp this and hand over our lives to Christ early on in our Christian walk, the more peaceful and effective those lives will be.
If you're in the same position as Saul was on the road to Damascus, resisting Jesus' call to follow him, then now would be a good time to take the same step that Saul did, and give in to God. This link will help to guide you through that process. If you're already a Christian but finding it difficult to go along with what God wants of you, you can take comfort in Romans 7, but the answer is in the following chapter: Jesus has set us free from everything that would hold us back, so that we can follow him without reservation.
Comments