"How many times does God forgive you?" That's effectively the response that Jesus gave when he was asked how many times we should forgive someone. In fact, Jesus said that we don't need to forgive an individual just seven times (in response to the exact question posed), but seventy times seven (Matthew chapter 18, verses 21,22). So that's 490. Hurrah! I can stop forgiving after the 490th time! No, actually not: after making this statement, Jesus went on to explain the spirit behind it, using a parable. To start with, in the sermon on the mount Jesus told us that forgiveness is essential. In fact, to be forgiven, we have to forgive others, as he taught us in the Lord's Prayer and his subsequent comments (Matthew 6:12-15). He then gave the parable of the servant who had been forgiven a vast debt owed to his master, but who then was not willing to let go of a small sum owed to him by someone else (Matthew 18:23-35); the master was not pleased, to say the least.
OK, so God forgives us everything, unconditionally, so much so that he went to the cross for us - and proved that he was successful by rising from the dead. Why then do we need to forgive others in order to be forgiven? We are forgiven and that's it - nothing else to add. It all comes down to grace. It is indeed by grace that we are saved (Ephesians chapter 2, verses 8,9). If we are saved, though, we have given our lives to God and the fruit of his Spirit grows in us. If that is the case, then we shall forgive others. If we don't forgive, then his grace is not working in us, so perhaps we have not actually given our lives to God. Of course, grace is about making mistakes and being forgiven every time, but it is also about being equipped to move on and develop, so that we make less mistakes, which includes forgiving more.
If we don't find ourselves becoming more forgiving, then there is something wrong in our spiritual lives. If we really want to emulate Jesus in the way that we live, then we need to be willing ultimately to come to the point where we forgive everyone else for everything that they've done, whether they forgive us in return or not. I'm not suggesting that this is easy. However much we know that God has forgiven us everything, there are still those little, or maybe quite big, injustices that we have suffered at the hands of others. And we might not really want to let go of them until we have seen some justice appear. That's very natural, part of being human - and that's why Jesus had to tell the parable.
Jesus forgave everyone everything; he wants to teach us to do the same.
Jesus didn't have that attitude. He was willing to go to the cross after an unfair trial and not defend himself (Philippians chapter 2, verse 8). Reading through the passion stories in the Gospels, how often have you kind of been willing Jesus on to justify himself? He starts to say a bit about himself at times, but never a simple statement to Pilate about where the truth lay, that would perhaps have seen him released - Pilate was almost begging him to do that. Jesus even asked his Father to forgive those who were crucifying him.
This doesn't mean that justice goes out the window. There are still consequences for what we do, but through Jesus' death and resurrection we all have forgiveness for everything that we've done. If we give our lives to him, then we can appropriate that for ourselves and know the joy of walking free of guilt with a sure hope of eternal life in God's presence. If we have given our lives to him, though, we shall also be learning to live like him and become forgiving to the outrageous extent that he was. Justice remains, but grace (mercy) overcomes judgment (James chapter 2, verse 13); we must uphold justice, but it is not for us to condemn others personally in the process. Justice remains, but we should never require it out of unforgiveness or bitterness, only out of love.
The more we come to know God's forgiveness, the more we shall reflect that in our own attitudes to others. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans chapter 8, verse 1). Nothing that we have ever done has a hold on us once we have surrendered all to Jesus in repentance. Once we really grasp that, we shall truly be free to forgive others and hold no condemnation towards them. As we start to choose to forgive, we find that it becomes easier. We also might find that there are deeper layers of forgiveness that we had perhaps not appreciated at first. This can be painful, but we need to allow God to deal with our emotions as they are triggered. Forgiveness is sometimes very difficult, but we are not alone in it - God has been through the process and is there to help us too.
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